Statistics are Scary 1

90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week

This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.

The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.

The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.

The Statistics are Scary

So I found these statistics about pastors and ministry and as a pastor's wife they really concern me. Why is it that these statistics are the case. Maybe I will try to write a new blog post every day (time permitting) addressing each one. That would be fun right? :) Here are the stats:

Why Pastors Leave the Ministry
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.


* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.

Repost

In the spirit of the holidays I'm reposting something I wrote back in April explaining my position on holiday issues.

I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.

Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)

These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.

Holidays

Once again the holidays are upon us and I am so excited. The past few years, the holidays have felt dull and unexceptional. I think that once you get older Christmas can lose some of the magic if you're not careful. Nathan and I have been incredibly guilty of just cruising through the holidays. That's been partially because of life circumstances. Our first Christmas as a married couple we spent by ourselves with no gifts (or one gift per person) and mainly spent the day dreading working our crazy retail jobs the day after. Three years ago we spent Christmas driving all over the country trying to visit everyone. Insane. Two years ago we both worked high pressure jobs that demanded our full attention. There wasn't a lot of time for holiday reflections. Last year I was VERY pregnant and had been laid off and spent most of the holiday season fighting for my unemployment benefits and sleeping on the couch. We barely got the tree up in time for Christmas. So that brings us to this year. This year will be different. This year the magic is already back. This year we have a child. I am excited beyond words for Derek's first Christmas. I am thrilled that he will be old enough to enjoy Christmas this year. he will have fun ripping paper off of his presents. He will play with the toys he is getting. He will stare at the Christmas tree in wonder. He will watch us build our family traditions this year. We have not placed a lot of emphasis on building our traditions, so this year we feel it is very important to do so. Here are some of the traditions we want to incorporate:
-Reading of the Christmas story and singing of Christmas carols as a family on Christmas Eve (either before or after the Christmas Eve service depending on the time of the service)
-Day after Black Friday decorating (not possible this year because we are not home!)
- Letting Derek put the star on the tree
-Opening each day of the advent calendar
-Saluting Nathan's Jewish heritage with a non-traditional Hanukkah nod
- setting up the nativity set (that we do not have yet!) and explaining the Christmas story to Derek as we do.

There are several traditions that will NOT be part of our holiday too. Things like Santa, and over commercialization have no place in our home. Instead we want our traditions to be Christ centered and family centered. Noel Piper (wife of Pastor John Piper) wrote a book called Treasuring God in Our Traditions that I LOVE and highly recommend to people looking to build family traditions. Anyone interested can find it and other books at this link: http://www.desiringgod.org/Store/Books/ByTopic/All/859_For_Mom/

With all that said, I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving. I am thankful beyond words for my husband who is patient with me and loves me unconditionally; for my son who is the biggest blessing I've ever received and is responsible for growing me in Christ and stretching me. He is beautiful and I love him with all my heart. And above all, I will never stop being thankful to Jesus Christ for what He accomplished on the cross and in His resurrection.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Convention on the Rights of the Child

Ok, my friend Marci sent me this link and I think it's really important for all my parents who read this out there to visit it. It's in regards to the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child, which I understand to be an actual document that would take away parents' rights if ratified in the US. I've copied and pasted below 20 things you need to know about the CRC. Please read!!! It's really pretty scary!

20 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE UN CONVENTION ON THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

Ten things you need to know about the structure of the CRC:

• It is a treaty which creates binding rules of law. It is no mere statement of altruism.^1.
• Its effect would be binding on American families, courts, and policy-makers.^2.
• Children of other nations would not be impacted or helped in any direct way by our ratification.^3.
• The CRC would automatically override almost all American laws on children and families because of the U.S. Constitution’s Supremacy Clause in Article VI.^4.
• The CRC has some elements that are self-executing, while others would require implementing legislation. Federal courts would have the power to determine which provisions were self-executing.^5.
• The courts would have the power to directly enforce the provisions that are self-executing.^6.
• Congress would have the power to directly legislate on all subjects necessary to comply with the treaty. This would constitute the most massive shift of power from the states to the federal government in American history.^7.
• A committee of 18 experts from other nations, sitting in Geneva, has the authority to issue official interpretations of the treaty which are entitled to binding weight in American courts and legislatures. This effectively transfers ultimate authority for all policies in this area to this foreign committee.^8.
• Under international law, the treaty overrides even our Constitution.^9.
• Reservations, declarations, or understandings intended to modify our duty to comply with this treaty will be void if they are determined to be inconsistent with the object and purpose of the treaty.^10.

Ten things you need to know about the substance of the CRC:

• Children would have the ability to choose their own religion while parents would only have the authority to give their children advice about religion.^13.
• The best interest of the child principle would give the government the ability to override every decision made by every parent if a government worker disagreed with the parent’s decision.^14.
• A child’s “right to be heard” would allow him (or her) to seek governmental review of every parental decision with which the child disagreed.^15.
• According to existing interpretation, it would be illegal for a nation to spend more on national defense than it does on children’s welfare.^16.
• Children would acquire a legally enforceable right to leisure.^17.
• Christian schools that refuse to teach "alternative worldviews" and teach that Christianity is the only true religion "fly in the face of article 29" of the treaty.^18.
• Allowing parents to opt their children out of sex education has been held to be out of compliance with the CRC.^19.
• Children would have the right to reproductive health information and services, including abortions, without parental knowledge or consent.^20.
• Parents would no longer be able to administer reasonable spankings to their children.^11.
• A murderer aged 17 years and 11 months and 29 days at the time of his crime could no longer be sentenced to life in prison.¹²

Citation: from www.parentalrights.org

You can click on the link above to visit the site and see the footnotes for these 20 things as well as get more information!

Kansas

Well, we arrived in Kansas safely last Monday, and sent my mom home on Tuesday. We are trying our best to get settled in our temporary housing while we wait on our paperwork from the bank to go through on our house. We don't have a closing date yet but I am praying fervently for the end of this month. I feel off tonight. There have been some great times since moving here, but tonight feels sad to me. Derek isn't feeling well, and maybe that's why but tonight I feel like I want to go home more than I have the whole time I've been here. *sigh* Anyway, Derek is definitely getting tooth number two. Stinks cuz he just got tooth number one and I was hoping that he was done for at least a couple weeks. Oh well. Here we go again. I don't have much more to say really. I just thought I'd post an update for all of you back home who read this (and those who aren't at home and read this too!) I'll write more soon, and I hope it will be more interesting!!

Today....

Today is my last day living in Minnesota. Here are the things I want to do today;

Get cheese curds at Burnsville Center
Ride on the motorcycle with Dad
Take a walk with Mom
Go to the zoo
Take Derek to see the airplanes

Don't know if I'll make it to all these, but I'd like to try!